WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television
set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Joe and his wife Ann listened to the instructor,
'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and
dislikes.'
He addressed the man, 'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's
Pillsbury, isn't it?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle..
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of
string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for
your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this,yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rollingpapers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she..
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically,
'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied,
'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.. '
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee
each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No,
you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do
the
coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
the
top of several pages,
that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to
wake
him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the
first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please
wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up..'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television
set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Joe and his wife Ann listened to the instructor,
'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and
dislikes.'
He addressed the man, 'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's
Pillsbury, isn't it?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle..
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of
string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for
your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this,yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rollingpapers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she..
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically,
'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied,
'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.. '
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee
each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No,
you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do
the
coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
the
top of several pages,
that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to
wake
him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the
first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please
wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up..'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
I was laughing while reading all of these, it's a joke but it really does happen to every couples. I think couples do have some differences and they don't actually jive in every way. Still there is some portions that couples don't agree together. Anyway that's the best part of it, a bit of spices.
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