This past few weeks I have been making myself busy with things that at least should make myself a little satisfied with what I'm supposed to be feeling right now. It's not frustrations but a bit of jealousy with those around me. Jealousy in a manner that should make me strive more to achieve the things I want for my family. I haven't done much. I envy tuose people who have plenty of time to do the things that they want while I am stuck with the problems that I need to solve. Perhaps this is what you get for not straightening everything out before settling. A not so good plan.
For someone who lost much of the confidence and self esteem, I'm striving very hard to get that back. I need that more now that the kids are growing fast and their needs are getting bigger and demanding.
I need more than whatI have now, it is not enough to cover everything. I want an extra jobthatcan sustain and augment the expences. But all of these can come in His due time. I kept that promise i His time things will come clearer. It's not bad to be demanding as long as your demands are just on the right tracks.
I'm just exhaling myself to get that negativity out of my system. I know He knows and He's just waiting for the right time. In His time!